I haven’t been as consistent as I would have liked with my journaling. Things have been a bit off kilter lately and I’m just getting some daily rhythm again. I’ve moved back into my mom’s house after getting back from Asia. My funds ran out before I was able to get Network and Market off the ground and I just wasn’t excited about the industry. I couldn’t get over the fact that I didn’t want to bring more people into the industry.
Re-entry Blues
I was pretty depressed for the first two weeks getting back. I guess it’s a bit normal since I talked to my friend Chris from the Gathering and he felt the same way coming back from Dubai. I think both of my situations are different but the similarities is that we both like making progress and while we were out in our respective countries, we felt we were making progress. Then coming back home you feel you just went backwards or nothing changed.
Fasting
I’m actually feeling a lot better now. I went through a four day fast and I think the biggest thing that came out of it was learning that I’m prideful and that pride is holding me back. I prayed about getting rid of my pride during the fast and while I was on it, my mom and friends started telling me how prideful I am out of the blue. I wasn’t hurt like I thought I would be probably because it coincided with my prayer so much it didn’t feel like a coincidence.
The other awesome thing that happened during my fast is my mom offered to pay off my credit card debt I accumulated living out in San Diego from living expenses and money I spent getting Network and Market off the ground. I’m paying her back but at least the interest won’t kill me.
The Official Split
On other news, my mom and dad are officially splitting. My dad will be living near my grandma. He gets back from Vietnam tomorrow and I’ll be picking him up from the airport. I’ve already packed all his stuff and drove his car over to my grandmas. It sounds sad that they are splitting but I’m actually happy for both of them. This should have happened 20 years ago. Most of my life I just remember them arguing all the time. It was a toxic relationship for everyone so this is good news rather than sad.
It’s unfortunate of course, but it’s relieving. We’re all old enough (the kids) to handle this situation and we all feel the same way. We’re happy for both of them. I’m actually glad I’m back in LA because I get to help my mom and dad during this transition period. It’s going to be challenging on both of them, more so my dad. Luckily, his social security kicked in already and he has free medicare.
Stable Income
I’m at a place now where I need to be more financially stable. I can’t think selfishly anymore and continue to loosely pursue entrepreneurial endeavors without making sure I’m bringing back a steady income so that I can be in a position to take care of my parents.
I’ve been preparing my resume, Linkedin profile, and this website for the job search. I think I’ve found a career path I’m interested in. I saw this role for a strategic operations associate at Bird Scooter and the description of the role is exactly something I’m interested in. I want a role where I can have a voice in the direction of a business and have the ability to figure out ways to grow a company. I realized I like scaling operations through systems and processes. It’s exciting to do more with less and be able to scale.
I’m surprisingly excited about getting a career going. I don’t feel stressed and I’m just rolling with the punches. I’m tired of striving. I’ve felt completely burnt out from entrepreneurship and I need some time to just get my head straight. I want to get a job I like that I can build a career out of. Even the prospect of going back to school to get my masters is exciting. I can’t get another degree until I find a job first though. I need to start paying off all my debt.
Tomorrow, I’ll be finishing up some last touches on LinkedIn and then I’ll start posting my resumes. While that’s happening, I’ll be taking classes online and polishing up on some skills.
