I’m a Dad!
A lot has happened. I’m now officially a dad, and I’ve been for the past 5 months. My son Theo turns 5 months in the next 30 minutes. I can’t believe he’s already this age. It seriously does go by so fast. I’m enjoying the process, and I love my kid! It’s amazing seeing him grow up and all the learning that he’s doing along the way. He’s now at the point where he can recognize me and interact. I can make him laugh, and it’s the best feeling I’ve had in the world.
The first three months of Theo’s life happened in the blink of an eye. Jenn and I were partially sleep-deprived because he needed to be fed every two hours, even through the night. Jenn had two remote rotations to stay home longer before returning to the hospital. We knew we would need a nanny when she returned to work because it would have been impossible for me to work.
We tried testing out a few nannies, which was such a bad experience. Three that we tested were young and inexperienced. They were doing it as a part-time gig. We found another lady that we thought would be the perfect nanny, but it turns out she was not in the best health, so caring for a newborn was going to be difficult. The first day she came to our place, she was shaking like he might have had early onsets of Parkinson’s.
God’s Provision
Thankfully, by a sheer miracle from God, Jenn’s aunt and mom called us the day we realized the nanny wouldn’t work out, and they both offered to come help with Theo. The crazy part is they didn’t even talk to each other. They both felt prompted to reach out to offer their help. Her aunt would come for a month, and her mom would come after her once she could quit her job. It was the perfect case scenario. Not only that but hiring a full-time nanny isn’t cheap. We didn’t know how we were going to swing for paying a full-time salary. It turns out God gave us just enough for EXACTLY 1 month of nanny care (40 hours at a 20-dollar rate). Then I learned I owed less on my taxes and had enough for another month of nanny care. Also, Jenn’s aunt was going to help us out for free. The same goes for Jenn’s mom, but she has a house, car, and other expenses that she couldn’t get rid of, so we’d have to cover it all while she was with us for the remainder of our stay in Houston.
God is and continues to show me that he’s got my back and that I don’t have to worry about how I will take care of my finances. I’ve always tried to figure out things independently, not fully trusting the Lord. He’s been making it clear this past two years that no matter the situation, He’s got me. This doesn’t mean I can slack off expecting handouts. No, but if I’m doing my best to do my best, then I can rest knowing that the Lord will provide the means, and I don’t have to stress or worry. He is alive and active in our lives, not just an apathetic god that leaves us to our own devices in a world He created.
Dad’s Passing Anniversary
It’s also now a year and 2 days since my dad passed away. I looked at my sister’s Facebook to determine what day it was. When I found the post, I saw the pictures my sister posted about my dad, and I couldn’t help crying. I’m sad he wasn’t able to meet Theo. His passing reminds me of how quickly life happens. I miss him. I miss the familiarity. I miss the memories I’ve associated with my dad every time I see him. Weirdly, the title of Dad has always been reserved for him. For Theo to now eventually call me Dad is such a weird thing. A new generation. A new cycle. This time, I’m playing the role of dad. I hope I do it well and make my father proud.
Saint Willo and Unwage
It’s been about 4.5 months working with my sister and Nathaniel with Saint Willo. Things have been going well, but I’m at a point where I need to make more money, and I don’t want to ask for more money because I’d rather invest in growing Saint Willo. However, I think how fast I want to grow is not congruent with the speed Nathaniel wants. This makes it challenging and somewhat frustrating, but I realize I’m in the wrong trying to push for growth because I need to make more to afford to pay for all these added expenses. The posture I said I was going into Saint Willo was to serve them, not my ambitions.
But that puts me in a bind; I need to make more money, but I don’t control the company’s speed. On the one hand, it seems like every time I want to do something else to create more income, counter to what I want, the feeling I’m getting is that I need to focus on growing Saint Willo. But I feel like I’m trying to push at my speed when I should do what Nathaniel wants: be a great employee, add value, and help slowly grow the business at his desired speed.
It’s been a blessing having Saint Willo, though. I enjoy what I do, and I get to learn. But I have about 1-2 months of runway before I won’t be able to pay bills after that. I don’t know exactly what to do yet. I did have a good conversation with my brother today, though. I told him about my situation and frustrations. His response got me thinking about things rightly. I can’t control Saint Willo’s speed. It’s not my business. I own a stake, but Nathaniel is the person in charge. I’ve been getting frustrated, but my brother reminded me that what I said initially was I wanted to serve them, and it’s not serving them to push at my pace, even though that’s not what Nathaniel wants. I’m trying to serve my own needs again.
So that brings me to where I’m at now…I felt like I should be focusing solely on Saint Willo, but I can’t control the speed, which means I don’t control my income. I still want to build Unwage, but I’m missing the angle. However, after listening to the audiobook by a Jewish Rabbi, Daniel Lapin, in his book, “Business Secrets from The Bible,” I’ve latched onto his Biblical perspective that we’re supposed to serve our fellow man. That’s what entrepreneurs do; they find solutions to people’s issues and get paid for doing so.
It’s a subtle difference from how I’ve been trying to approach business. I think about how I can make money first and use people to get what I want, i.e., money. But it doesn’t work that way. I should consider how to serve people best first, and the money will come. Even if the money doesn’t come right away or I don’t know how to monetize right away, as long as I find a problem that people have and I provide a solution to their problem, the money will flow.
With that perspective, I’m trying to take some time to think more about Unwage. What problem am I solving with the unique skillsets that make me uniquely qualified to solve it? I don’t know the answer yet, but I will keep pressing and praying. After talking to my brother, it doesn’t seem to be such a bad idea to keep doing a good job with Saint Willo but do something else that I can direct my energy and speed at which I want to create.
More to come.