This is going to be more of a venting journal entry than anything but also remember this moment so that I can look back on it to remember what I felt after God has shown himself mighty in it.
I’m having a difficult moment. My finances are stressing me out a bit. Things aren’t terribly bad but nothing that I was expecting. Most of my funds have dried up. I didn’t get the windfall that I was expecting with going all in with crypto. If you’ve read any of my previous posts, you’ll know that I was heavily focused on crypto for the past 4 years. I had a business but everything I made I put into crypto. I know that it’s risky but this was my second time around when it comes to crypto cycles so I was a bit more comfortable.
I was trading a 7 figure portfolio and that was pretty severely hampered after getting hit with a huge drop in the market around December of 2021. I had some leverage and it shocked my portfolio by almost 70%. Huge hit. I was lucky that I didn’t go negative. I eventually slowly pulled out of the market with enough funds to relax for a little over a year. I wanted to take a break. I was so burnt out I needed time to gather myself and figure out my next plans.
Within that short amount of time, I moved into an apartment in Brea, got engaged, moved to Houston and I’m currently starting a new life with my soon-to-be wife, Jennifer and my doggo River. Life has been pretty amazing. I’m fortunate to have a loving fiancee that I enjoy doing life with. I have a hilarious dog that brings a ton of joy (although he can be a little too clingy sometimes).
In the midst of all the change, I’ve been embarking on a new business venture. Things are going well. Better than expected but with that we’re also reinvesting a lot of the money back into the business. This doesn’t leave much room for salaries. Finances have been tough and unexpectantly, the person subleasing my apartment in Brea decides to stop messaging me back. For all I know he could be dead, moved out of the apartment, or is traveling. Either way its been stressful.
I’m trying to lean into the Lord in this moment and I feel He’s trying to teach me to learn faith and trust in Him. I’m typically the work harder and longer guy when finances are tough but it’s different when you’re not single. I can’t just put in more time and live like a pauper. I’ve done that for so long and now I’m tired of living below my means and taking so much risk. I’ve delayed gratification for so long. I’m tired of it.
Now I’m trying to figure out what’s the thing to do. Do I get a job? If I do then I’ll have less time for family and I won’t be able to focus as much on the business. But I will have the means to live a better day-to-day life. Do I just rack up credit card debt and focus on growing the business? Our run rate on sales right now is showing that we would be on track to do $1.5 million in sales at the minimum. We could do 5 million in sales with the product SKUs we have coming out.
I don’t know what to do and I’m stressing about it. I know that I shouldn’t worry. I know that I shouldn’t be anxious. I would be lying by saying that I’m not. I feel a bit frozen and unmotivated. But I’m expectant to see how God is going to work everything out for the better. That’s why I’m writing this blog so that I’ll remember this moment and then hold onto how God pulled through.
To be continued…