The past couple of months, I feel like I’ve been in the fog. It’s like I lost my bearings on what I should be doing. I’m not sure what’s causing the fogginess, but I know that I want to get out of it.
I know there are things currently in front of me. Yellowstone has been progressing and I feel like I’ve reached the tail end of the business. It’s almost on autopilot. I’ve been finalizing AutoTech Keys and I’ll be launching that pretty soon. I feel in the short term I know what I need to do. The concern for me has been, “What’s next?”
I’ve been thinking a lot more about Unwage and the businesses that come after. But that’s not the only thing. I’m been thinking a lot about what’s the point of it all? Not in an existential way, since I resolutely believe in the overarching goal in life is to love God and love people and make disciples. But more specifically, if I were to get all the goals that I’ve been aiming for, what would I do with it — the influence, money, and experience?
That isn’t the only thing on my mind. I’m about to turn 36…I’m getting to the point where I want to buy my own house and more seriously consider finding a wife. I’m currently location-dependent because of the store. I believe that will change soon but it’s still a factor I’m thinking about.
Taking Time to Ponder
I’ve been trying to do everything to get some clarity. I’ve taken the past week to work from home away from distractions. But that hasn’t given me any more clarity. I’ve prayed about it. I’ve been reading the Word daily and being more purposeful about worship. I still feel lost.
I noticed that when I’m coming to the tail end of something, I need to take time to think again. I switch from working on something furiously and once completed, I need to step away figure out what’s next in more detail. The transition period for me is always weird. In a perpetual state of feeling of I’m not being productive, spending most of my time thinking and reading. It’s odd because I know I’m doing something productive but the metrics for productivity aren’t visible, especially when I don’t feel like I’m getting any closer to clarity.
Travel
Maybe I need a change of scenery. To test this, I’m flying out to Houston, Texas, driving through Austin, and then meeting some friends in San Antonio. I think this will be a good way to start out the new year to process everything. I’m hoping for a renewed sense of clarity and motivation.
I really want next year to be a highlight year. It’s been a grind for the past 10+ years. I need some major wins. I feel most of my close friends are moving on to another season in their life. I hope that it’s the same for me.
Let’s see what the new years brings!