Recharged and Ready for 2020
It’s now been two weeks since my Seattle/Vancouver trip. Time sure does go by quickly these days. I’ve felt recharged and remotivated having that week to myself. These solo trips have been so crucial in my personal development and growth as a person. If you look at my cumulative personality makeup based on Strengths Finder, Enneagram, and Myers Briggs, you’ll see why trips like these are paramount to my overall happiness.
We’re now one month away from ending 2019 and moving into 2020. I’m thankful for the progress I’ve made this year and I’m happy with how much that’s been accomplished. I recently reread all my blogs from 2019 and I’m so thankful for where I am emotionally, mentally, and physically right now compared to the beginning of the year.
A Gradual Change – Life and Life Abundant
It’s been a wild ride and honestly unexpected, but better than I’ve imagined. I feel more emotionally put together. I feel less anxiety. Depression is now an afterthought. Most of my days are filled with joy and peace whereas before, 90% of my days were filled with sadness, depression, anxiety, and shame.
From an external perspective, not much as changed, as I’ve mentioned in my previous blog, but internally, EVERYTHING has changed. I can’t pinpoint the exact moment things turned around in my life. If anything, it’s not a specific moment, but moments that have reshaped my internal dialogue and wellness. It’s been a lot of praying, reading the Word, and trusting the Lord.
From Darkness to Light
I remember being absolutely stricken with depression. I looked like I was living the American dream. I had all the right clothes, driving the nicest cars, and surely was the “wealthiest” looking kid on the block. But all that changed. I had lost quite a bit when I hit 23 years old. I was 100k in debt, no college degree, jobless, living back at my parent’s house, my girlfriend left me, and I just felt so much shame. I was in such a deep hole that I never thought I’d see the light again.
I had shrunken inward. I didn’t hang out with friends. I isolated myself. I turned to reading, school, and the Lord. I sought Him with all my heart because I had nothing left. No one could understand me or my grief. No one knew the pain I was dealing with. The deep sadness. The loneliness and hurt. The embarrassment. The shame. The failure. It was so cutting and visceral that no words or grimaces could thoroughly and adequately explain to anyone how I truly felt. Only the Lord could know and He had a plan through it all.
Distinct Life-Changing Moments
It’s now been 11 years since I first fell into depression. It’s only been fairly recently that I feel that I’m finally out of that hole. That was an incredibly challenging time of my life. I can’t even begin to explain how hard it was. All I can say is that I was desperately hopeless and humbled during that time and it needed to happen so that I could learn. That season greatly shaped who I am today and I wouldn’t change a single moment of each dark dismal day I begrudgingly trudged through to become who I am today.
A journey of a 10,000 miles beings with a single step.
Chinese Proverb
I can distinctly remember moments in the 11-year journey that has brought me to where I am today – Happy, Grateful, Joyful, full of Peace, Madly in love with the Lord, and Content. In between the major moments, there were tons of lessons and things I needed to learn, but the distinct moments were what I most vividly remember.
Life-Changing Moments
- The first one was starting and building a successful nail salon while going to school. It showed me that I did have a knack for business. It allowed me to test my practical knowledge from my Network Marketing experience and theoretical knowledge from all the business books I’ve read. It gave me a little more confidence in business.
- The second impactful moment was getting into USC. I had worked tirelessly in school to get into USC. It was my dream school and it showed me that hard work does pay off. It taught me that I can achieve a goal when I set my mind to it. It was also a moment that I grew in faith because I had prayed endlessly to God to let me get in.
- The third moment was starting an organization on campus. It showed me that I could create something out of nothing.
- The fourth moment was getting internships at RedGate and Intel.
- The fifth moment was getting over the ex-girlfriend that left me during my lowest point in life.
- The sixth was meeting Kimmie who encouraged me greatly in what I felt was a God calling. She believed in me and helped me during a tough season in my life to help me believe in myself and what God was doing in my life.
- The seventh was almost losing my faith after an embarrassing/awkward time of pursuing a girl in Japan that I thought was from the Lord. (The experience definitely was from the Lord – It wasn’t about getting the girl). I almost lost faith but really what that experience did was expose my real motives behind following the Lord. It was about ME, not Him. I repented of it and now my faith is stronger. I feel that even if God doesn’t give me what I want, I still love Him for Him and not what He gives me. I feel like a falseness was exposed and removed. A burning away of the dross, leaving more pure gold.
- The eighth was leaving my job and moving to San Diego to attend Impact 195. There were so many instances within Impact that drastically changed me as a person
- The first was meeting Aeron and Carlos. I don’t know why but I felt more confident about myself after meeting them. Maybe because they were such accomplished guys and they recognized me. It helped validate my own level of ability.
- The second was going through the book of Ephesians. It changed my perspective of how God viewed me. I was able to finally learn how to rest in the Lord from it. A lot of pressure to perform was stripped away.
- The third was a compliment that came from the dad of a girl I was talking to from Impact. He was the CEO of a large company and basically said I had tons of potential after hearing me speak on stage at our graduation ceremony.
- The fourth was getting over my odd fear of White Americans. It’s an odd fear but I think most second-generation Asian Americans have a feeling of inferiority to White Americans. Like we’re second class citizens. I don’t know where the feeling stems from but it was a real feeling. Something happened during Impact where I felt that feeling of inferiority dissipate.
- The ninth was starting The Gathering with other church leaders. I felt noticed and accepted.
- The tenth was going to South East Asia by myself. I felt a sense of independence and bravery. I was out of my element but I thrived in it. I got over a lot of fears by doing it.
- The eleventh was getting my dream job that turned out to not be what I wanted. It finally freed me from wanting this prestigious job that I could boast about.
- The twelfth was starting Network & Market, Milliardco, and Unwage — learning skills in marketing and building websites online. Developing valuable skillsets.
- The last and most recent was building out the water/key/phone store. I feel like it was a culmination of all the skills and experiences I’ve learned come together. I felt poised. I wasn’t stressed out. It came together as I had planned. It happened pretty easily. That’s probably why I feel joyful with the store. I can physically see everything I’ve learned spill into a physical and tangible creation. It’s pretty cool.
Life Updates:
Okay, I went off on a massive tangent from what I intended with this post but I think it’s fitting since I feel like I’m at the tail end of this project and now moving back to Unwage. Finally! Okay so without further ado, here are the updates on my three areas of focus:
The Water/Key/Phone Store
I’m almost done. I’ve bought almost all the tools I need to cut and program most car keys. I’m shy a couple of tools but I’m basically there. The water side of the business is pretty much complete as well. I got my Yelp and Google page up and I’ve got the water store website up as well.
I still need to get the Phone stuff set up but that’s something I’m going to do next year and it’s easy since I’ve already replaced a phone screen. The hardest part has been getting the keys together since I didn’t know anything about automotive keys.
I feel pretty good about the store. Things are slowing down now that Winter is around the corner but I’m not worried. I just want my mind to be on autopilot with the store so I can focus my energy back on Unwage. My goal is to be done with the store, at least with the water and keys before the end of the year.
Next year, I just plan to add the phone business, change the lights in the ceiling, and add workbenches. After that, the store is pretty much done. I plan to hire someone early next year to manage the front and mid next year for someone to take care of the keys/phones.
Unwage
I’m now going to be shifting my focus onto Unwage. I haven’t done much with it but my trip to Seattle/Vancouver helped tremendously in refining the business and giving a clearer direction of where I want to take it. I also want to start to learn to code when I don’t have to worry about the store anymore. My goal for next year will be to grow Unwage and learn how to program.
Bitcoin
Bitcoin has taken a major crapper since my last update. It’s now hovering around 7.1k and dipped towards 6.5k a day ago. I was worried for a bit but now all I want to do is add more to my position. I want to try to earn as much money as possible and get creative so that I can buy more before the halving in May 2020.
Two charts that have captured my attention are the stock to flow model by @100trillionUSD and the log growth chart by @Davethewave. Both seem to show that the drop to 6.5k is within reason AND it’s healthy for long term growth predicted by both models.
I would be lying if I didn’t say I was a bit worried when it dropped so suddenly. You always feel like it’s going to go lower when it drops like that and everyone starts making wild predictions of doom and gloom. Hodling really is tough but when you have a once in a lifetime asymmetrical bet with decent historical precedence for continued growth, you make the bet.
Fin
Okay, that’s the update. Looking forward to the next one! Adios!