Today was another pretty typical day. I had my usual breakfast and then headed over to Tom n Toms to work instead of Starbucks today. I worked on the Network & Market blog. I chatted with my sister and prepped them for coming over to Bangkok. They’ll be here this Sunday. I can’t believe it’s already happening. I feel like this is the last leg of my trip.
I’m starting to get over traveling. It’s been incredible, but I miss my friends back home and having a community. I’m glad I did this now though because I feel I can settle down without feeling like I missed out on traveling. I’m starting to appreciate the stability settling down in a city. Traveling is great, but now that I’m almost turning 34, I’m ready to have some more stability in life.
I’m looking forward to having a family one day, creating family traditions, and celebrating the holidays together. I remember as a kid; I loved Christmas time. All the Christmas movies came on, and everyone was in better spirits. You get this warm and fuzzy feeling. I missed that.
God willing, I’ll be able to do that with my kids.
I had my shabu dinner and watched a movie to end the night. I was planning to read and study, but I feel exhausted. Just mentally exhausted. I feel like I’ve been pushing and striving for so long. I’m tired of constantly focused on goals and “making things happen.” I’ve been an “entrepreneur” for most of my adult life, and it can be hard. Money is never guaranteed, and there is always a risk.
Maybe I’m just getting older. Or maybe I want to settle down. I’m just exhausted, and I feel I have little to show for all the “work” I’ve been putting in. They say business is hard, but I didn’t realize how hard it can be when things don’t magically go your way. It isn’t a linear income path. There are times when things can be dry, and you can’t see the end of the tunnel. You REALLY have to want to be an entrepreneur, or you’ll quit at first hardship. It can mess with your mind.